Promises

There is a promise I made to Maya when I adopted her.

I didn't know what she was going to be like then, nor have any idea of the challenges that lay ahead of us.  My reasons for worrying had to do with my own heart -- the last of my six rats had died a few months before, and I had loved those ratties more than I can possibly describe.  I was sore, sad, and worried that a dog might, inevitably, suffer consequences as a result.

When I adopted her, I told Maya that I would never get mad at her for what she wasn't.  She wasn't a rat, wasn't going to be my instant soulmate, and I wasn't going to hold those things against her, ever.  I promised to accept her for what she was, and for who she was.

Of course, at it turns out, this was a much more far-reaching promise than I'd intended.  I knew Maya was a dog, but had no idea how intense and challenging a dog she'd turn out to be.  What she wasn't was a normal dog, an easy-going dog, a safe dog, or a dog who could do all the things with me that I'd dreamed.  There was a whole lot more "wasn't" than I had imagined. 

I stuck by the promise though.  For all my frustrations, sorrow, and stress, I've always made sure I pay attention to who and what Maya is.  The things she cannot do sometimes cause me real grief, but that is not the way I define my dog, and it's not something I hold against her.  She is the way she is, and that's okay with me.  Not that I ever stop trying to improve her ability to cope, just that I accept that these difficulties are a part of my dog, who I love.

Recently, I've discovered that I have knowledge and skills that people who've been around dogs for years never developed.  I started volunteering down at the Santa Fe shelter, and have tools for working with the shy/hyperactive/miserable/barking/rough dogs that are enormously useful.  I enjoy the praise and attention this gets me (who wouldn't!?), and I really enjoy working with the dogs, but mostly I enjoy the realization that Maya has forever deepened my relationship with this fascinating species.

When I adopted Maya, I changed her life.  She changed mine too, and I thank her for it.