delirium

I made my dog deliriously happy this morning.  Emphasis on the delirium, because I used the B-A-L-L.  Yes, we have to spell it out, and now it seems Maya is learning to spell, so we may need to find some other word entirely (she can also spell D-O-G and M-A-Y-A, which is making it harder and harder to talk about her without her noticing).

The ball is a controlled substance around here.  I keep it locked away, or at least out of sight on top of the refrigerator, because exposure to the ball causes Maya's brain to have a critical meltdown.  The breakdown begins the moment I pull it off the fridge.  Maya's entire being is electrified, and her face splits into a dazzling grin.  She cannot take her eyes off it for more than a split second, so she frequently tries to back out of the kitchen and then make the turn into the living room without looking.  When she miscalculates, she collides face-first with the wall, but this doesn't seem to bother her at all.  Nothing does, when the B-A-L-L is out.

The longer we play fetch with the ball, the more Maya's cognitive functions shut down.  She obsesses, exhibits compulsive behaviors, and cannot hear or comprehend a single word that I say.  Sometimes, she will get confused about which ball game we are playing (there are two: fetch and "find it"), and in the middle of a game of fetch will suddenly run off to try to find the ball.  This happens even if I'm holding the ball right in plain sight...her brain is just melted.

And yet, it makes her intensely happy.  Insane with glee.  She never stops smiling, except occasionally when she takes a quick break from the game to have some extra-special time with her ball (she carries it to her crate and spends about five seconds mouthing it, eyes half closed, clearly getting some kind of chemical high from the experience).  When I put the ball away, the obsessive-compulsive behaviors end abruptly, and Maya just lies in a heap of happy panting, brain re-booting and eyes shining.

After overwhelming her with ball endorphins, I completely broke her heart by delaying breakfast by several hours.  When this happens, Maya becomes quite distressed, which we refer to as a "Crisis in Dog-land."  We may or may not also flail our arms wildly, throw ourselves to the ground, and weep bitter tears while moaning, "Crisis in Dog-land! Oh no! Oh woe!"  It is not all happiness around here.